How to Explain Pregnancy Pain: A Guide to Being Heard and Getting the Right Care
Pain during pregnancy is incredibly common. Back pain, pelvic pain, headaches, rib discomfort, abdominal aches—many women experience some or all of these at different stages. Because pain is so common, you may hear phrases like “that’s normal in pregnancy” or “it’s just part of it.”
Sometimes that reassurance is appropriate. Other times, it can feel confusing, dismissive or even frightening, especially if the pain is severe, persistent or affecting your ability to function. Our article, Breaking the Myth: Not All Pain in Pregnancy is Normal provides guidance about when pain in pregnancy is not normal to help you identify when you should consider seeking medical advice.
This article, the second in our series about pain in pregnancy, is intended to help you understand how to talk to healthcare providers about pregnancy pain and to give you the confidence for advocating for pain treatment during pregnancy when you need it.
You don’t need medical training to do this well. You just need the right language and the confidence that your experience matters.
Pain in Pregnancy is Common But Deserves Attention
Pregnancy places extraordinary demands on the body. Hormones change how your joints and tissues behave. Your posture and movement patterns shift. Organs move to make room for the growing uterus. All of this can cause discomfort and pain and is perfectly normal.
At the same time, pregnancy is a period when healthcare providers are especially alert to warning signs. The challenge—for both you and them—is working out which pain is expected, which pain needs checking and which pain might benefit from treatment rather than endurance.
The goal of this guide is not to make you anxious or turn every ache into a crisis. It’s to help you communicate clearly so your care team can make good decisions and so that you can feel more confident speaking up for yourself.
Why How You Describe Pain Matters
Healthcare providers don’t feel your pain. They rely on what you tell them to decide what to do next. When pain is described vaguely—like, for example, “I just hurt everywhere” or “it’s uncomfortable”—it’s harder for them to judge whether it fits common pregnancy patterns or needs further attention.
Clear descriptions help clinicians decide:
whether your pain is expected in pregnancy
whether it has features that need investigation
whether there are safe and appropriate ways to treat it
Remember that describing your pain well is not complaining. Rather, it’s providing useful clinical information. As a first step, a Pregnancy MOT with a women’s health physiotherapist will equip you with knowledge about what you can reasonably expect during this time.
STEP ONE: How to Describe Pain During Pregnancy
Before your appointment, try to organise your thoughts around a few key questions. You don’t need to be perfect; even approximate descriptions are helpful.
Where is the pain?
Be as specific as you can. Is it low back, one hip, deep in the pelvis, under the ribs, one side of the abdomen or shooting down a leg? Pain on one side can mean something different from pain on both sides.
When did it start?
Did it come on suddenly or gradually? Did it start after a particular activity, illness or change in pregnancy stage?
What does it feel like?
Some words that might help to describe your sensations: sharp, aching, burning, cramping, stabbing, heavy, tight, throbbing, pressure-like. There are no wrong words. Different qualities can point to different causes.
How intense is it, and how does it affect your life?
Pain scores can help, but functional impact is often even more important. Can you walk normally? Is pain disrupting your sleep? Can you sit, stand or care for yourself normally? Avoiding activities because of pain is meaningful information.
What makes it worse or better?
Movement, rest, position changes, time of day, heat, activity or stress can all provide clues.
Are there other symptoms?
Things like fever, vaginal bleeding, headaches, vision changes, numbness, weakness, bladder or bowel changes or feeling generally unwell are all important to mention.
To be prepared, you might find it helpful to jot these points down beforehand and bring notes to your appointment.
STEP TWO: Understanding “Expected” Pain in Pregnancy
As we discussed in our earlier blog on pain in pregnancy, some types of pain are very common at this time and are often considered expected. These include:
Low back, hip, or pelvic pain due to joint laxity, posture changes, and altered movement
Pelvic girdle pain, which may worsen with walking, stairs, or turning in bed
Abdominal stretching or pulling sensations as the uterus grows
Rib pain or pressure, especially later in pregnancy
Headaches related to hormonal changes, posture, fatigue, or dehydration
When clinicians say pain is “normal,” they usually mean it fits these known patterns and doesn’t show warning signs of something more serious.
However, expected does not mean insignificant. Pain can be common and still be intense, exhausting and disruptive. Many women assume that if pain is expected, they simply have to put up with it. That’s not true.
If pain is interfering with your sleep, mobility, work, mood or enjoyment of pregnancy, it deserves attention, even if it’s considered typical.
STEP THREE: Signs That Pain Needs Further Investigation
Some pain doesn’t fit the usual patterns of pregnancy-related discomfort. Other pain may start out mild but change in a way that needs checking.
You should seek further assessment if pain is:
Sudden, severe, or rapidly worsening
Associated with fever, chills, or feeling generally unwell
Accompanied by vaginal bleeding or reduced foetal movements
A severe headache, especially with vision changes or upper abdominal pain
Associated with numbness, weakness, or pain shooting down an arm or leg
Different from what has previously been explained to you
Not improving or getting worse despite reassurance or basic measures
Trust your instincts here. Many women say, “I know pain can be normal, but this feels different.” That sentence alone is important. You don’t need to prove something is wrong to ask for it to be checked.
STEP FOUR: Advocating for Pain Treatment During Pregnancy
There is a persistent idea that pregnant women should simply endure pain unless it’s dangerous. This can lead to unnecessary suffering, so it’s perfectly reasonable to expect more than just reassurance.
If pain is affecting your quality of life, you should feel confident to ask about treatment. You might say:
“Is there anything that can help manage this pain?”
“What options are safe during pregnancy?”
“Would a referral, such as to physiotherapy, be appropriate?”
Treatment options may include:
Education about posture, movement and activity modification
Support belts or braces
Practical strategies for sleep and daily tasks
Medication when appropriate and safe
Pain management in pregnancy is about balancing safety with wellbeing.
How to Speak Up if You Feel Dismissed
Most healthcare providers want to help, but sometimes communication misses the mark. If you feel dismissed, here’s how to talk to healthcare providers about pregnancy pain. It can help to refocus the conversation on function and impact—how the pain is affecting you—rather than just how intense the sensations are.
Helpful phrases include:
“This pain is affecting my ability to function day-to-day.”
“I understand this can be common, but it’s not manageable for me.”
“What would make you more concerned about this pain?”
“Can we make a plan for what to do if this doesn’t improve?”
Never be afraid to ask questions, request clarification and seek another opinion if needed. Advocating for yourself is part of participating in your own care.
A Simple Way to Think About Pregnancy Pain
You may find it helpful to use this simple framework when thinking about pain:
Expected: common in pregnancy, clearly explained, no red flags
Needs checking: unusual features, warning signs or uncertainty
May benefit from treatment: ongoing pain affecting function or wellbeing
Pain can move between these categories over time. That’s normal, and it’s why ongoing communication matters.
Your Pain is Real and You Deserve Support
Pain in pregnancy is real. It’s not a test of your toughness, gratitude or resilience. Clear communication helps your healthcare providers support you properly, so how to explain pregnancy pain can help. But always remember that you don’t need to have the perfect words to deserve care.
You are allowed to ask questions. You are allowed to want relief. You are allowed to take your pain seriously.
This experience asks a lot of your body, so advocating for pain treatment during pregnancy matters. Getting the right support along the way is important for your health, your comfort and your confidence as you move through your pregnancy.
For advice on your women's health questions, call Magdalena on 07877 017 936 or drop PelviCare an email. Alternatively, you can book an appointment online.
PelviCare Women's Health Physiotherapy is located between Deptford and Greenwich, London, serving women across South London, East London, Essex, Kent and beyond.
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